"we strive for perfection but when you're typing that fast, there are occasional mistakes. we regret the error."

--abc's cathie levine after a closed caption for an abc news' tuesday broadcast said federal reserve (news - web sites) chairman alan greenspan (news - web sites) was hospitalized for "an enlarged prostitute" instead of an enlarged prostate, quoted in the washington post.

"he should be so lucky."

--greenspan's wife, nbc correspondent andrea mitchell, reacting to the "enlarged prostitute" in the post.

new york (reuters) - people who joined the cult-like following of iraq (news - web sites)'s wartime spokesman mohammed saeed al-sahaf can now buy a talking doll and hear him say things like "our initial assessment is that they will all die" as often as they want.

the connecticut company herobuilders.com built the doll and also sells others that make fun of iraq war allies president bush (news - web sites) and british prime minister tony blair.

the company made the "iraqi dis-information minister action figure doll" of the former iraq information minister al-sahaf, who disappeared from baghdad after the invasion of u.s. troops whose presence he had bizarrely denied.

tv viewers around the world took a liking to his often colorful statements that became the butt of television talk show jokes in the united states. a web site, www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com, drew 4,000 hits a second after its launch a week ago.

the doll says, "there are no americans infidels in baghdad, never. our initial assessment is that they will all die. i am not scared and neither should you be. they're not even within 100 miles of baghdad."

rome (reuters) - does your wife make your life hell, humiliating you in front of friends and family, insulting you day after day and even berating you for not giving her pleasure in bed?

italy's highest court has ruled that this is not exceptional, and if you divorce your wife you must still pay her alimony, according to a report in the daily il messaggero.

the court of cassation has ruled that antonio giulia, a naples magistrate who left his wife after 10 years of such treatment, was nevertheless at fault for ending the marriage and should pay up, the paper said.

stockholm, sweden - the cola wars have entered a new dimension in sweden.

this time, the coca-cola co. isn't battling pepsi-cola international, but a family with the surname urge. that also happens to the name of a citrus drink bottled by coke that's available only in norway.

coke has registered the name as a trademark in sweden, but not launched in there. in the united states, the caffeine-loaded drink is called surge.

members of the urge family tried to repeal the trademark, concerned that their name would become associated with a soft drink.

swedish law prohibits registration of trademarks that use someone else's family name. but the court of patent appeals ruled in favor of coca-cola last month, saying the english word "urge" was more commonly known than the family name, which is pronounced "oor-geh."

members of the urge family didn't immediately return calls seeking comment tuesday.

there are six people in sweden listed with the last name urge, according to statistics sweden. four of them are involved in the court case.

if coke really wants to use a swedish surname for a soft drink without engaging in litigation, i volunteer "dahlberg" in the hopes of fostering peace and goodwill. price negotiable.

several months ago, �bill� played out the con with e-mail suitors who offered him a percentage of $45 million for helping move it out of nigeria. bill cut communications with the solicitors, as many potential victims do, when they requested some up-front payment. he forwarded all e-mail correspondence to the u.s. secret service, and figured that would be the end of it.

but on april 9, bill � who requested that his identity be withheld � heard from his suitors anew. a writer identifying himself as larry peters was eager to meet bill�s �long overdue contract payment.�

�i crave your indulgence not to treat it as one of those �hoax� letters you do receive,� peters wrote.

and the good-will proof?

�the welcome relief is that you are not to pay a cent upfront. please be informed that your outstanding payment will be paid through online banking which will be given to you on your response to this e-mail.�

***

and i just got the second of these emails in the last week the other day. the moral of the story: never trust anyone who writes email and puts things in all-caps or "quotes", i guess.