RICHARD GEPHARDT
* Owned by the unions.
* Can't go out in the sun.
* No eyelids.

WESLEY CLARK
* He's wacked

HOWARD DEAN
* freakish lip thing he does
* Creepy

JESUS
* More liberal than Kerry
* Thinks he's a miracle worker...blah-blah-blah
* Two words...Mary Magdeline
* Christ Thin On Substance. "But Christ seems quite thin on substance and will need a lot more tutoring from [Bill Clinton]." (William Greider, "Still Clinton's Show?," The Nation, 2/17/03)