Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

I love this story so much, I keep coming back to it.

Remember the INDUCE Act? Well, so did the Home Recording Rights Coalition. So when the current owners of the copyright to Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land” claimed that the now-infamous JibJab cartoon featuring President Bush and John Kerry violated that copyright by using the song without permission, the HRRC issued a press release pointing out that every national television network that ran a story on the cartoon probably “induced” thousands more people to seek out and download the “infringing” cartoon, and under the INDUCE Act would be liable for each violation.

Thus, one could assume, were the act to be in effect today, the liability from its enforcement in this instance might potentially bankrupt the entire national news media out of business entirely.

Ooops.

Tell me again that there’s a good reason for this law to pass. I dare you.

Apparently, the Death Star is orbiting Saturn.

My son, the night owl, at midnight:

Also: Houston, we have a tooth:

Everyone has a “bad date” story. You know exactly what I mean: you’re out with someone boring, rude, stinky, whatever–and painfully stealing glances at your watch, trying desperately to manufacture the perfect excuse for escape. For me, one from a few years ago stands out in particular. I agreed to a blind date of sorts, showing a friend-of-a-friend around Washington. After a mediocre dinner, a failed attempt to get into the ice skating rink on the mall, and generally bland conversation, I suggested we go to ESPN Zone. After purchasing $20 game passes at the ticket counter, I turned to my date and offered in my best chipper-date voice, “what game should we play first?” to which he replied, “I don’t know, I really don’t like video games.”

Well, fret no more, single minions. Now Cingular has a service that can help you escape the hell that is a bad date. Only $4.95 per month. Just try and keep a straight face when it calls you.

Holy crap; today seems to be the day the copyright world goes crazy. Marybeth Peters, the Register of Copyrights at the US Copyright Office, apparently testified before Congress regarding the completely insane INDUCE Act now before the Senate, during which time she not only urged the Senate to approve the bill but argued that a twenty year-old case which found that VCRs were not per se copyright violating tools should be legislatively overturned. No kidding:

While you have carefully crafted this bill to preserve the 20-year-old decision in the Sony case, it may become necessary to consider whether that decision is overly protective of manufacturers and marketers of infringement tools, especially in today’s digital environment. If the Sony precedent continues to be an impediment to obtaining effective relief against those who profit by providing the means to engage in mass infringement, it should be replaced by a more flexible rule that is more meaningful in the technological age, but that still vindicates the Court’s goal to balance effective “and not merely symbolic” protection of copyright with the rights of others to engage in substantially unrelated areas of commerce.

While that might seem to be a bunch of gobbledygook, it basically indicates Peters’ belief that the Sony decision — which found that the mere existence of a Betamax (and by extension VCR) did not infringe on broadcasters’ copyrights, and became the basis of the long-standing tradition that taping shows off of television for personal use was A-okay — ought to be kicked to the curb. Arguing that such a decision is “overly protective of manufacturers and marketers of infringement tools” a) implies that the VCR is by definition an infringement tool and b) suggests that there should be strict limits and/or penalties on individuals or companies who devise new technologies or innovations regarding the delivery of copyrightable media or content.

Which is far and away the most ridiculously extreme position on copyright a person could take in this day and age. You know those lunatics who argue that the Federal Constitution doesn’t require that you pay income taxes — the ones everyone laughs at, because they’re as nuts as Art Bell‘s audience? Peters’ argument is about as extreme and just as unfounded in reality as theirs.

Read Ernest Miller’s detailed, well-written summary and criticism of Peters’ testimony at Corante.

[all via boingboing, whew!]

What’s that, TiVo? You saw what happened when big media corporations sued ReplayTV into oblivion? You’ve been cooperating with the media giants’ demands about potential copyright violations with respect to sharing digital recordings between TiVo units? And you’ve gone out of your way to place technological limits on how many different TiVos and/or TVs can access a show copied on one TiVo, just like they asked? All because you wanted to work with those companies, not against them?

Well, here’s a message from the media giants to you, TiVo: screw you anyways.

So since I’ve always truly struggled with this question–what should I REALLY do with my life–I thought the best thing to do would be to leave it in the hands of the experts.

According to the Job Predictor, my ideal job is a dietician.

Who knew. Maybe I shouldn’t have wasted so much time on this whole PR gig. Pass me the fritos.

A few others you should try:

Tony Knowles

Grover Norquist

and finally… Carl George. Was there ever any doubt?