A true story:

Val, Carl and I, at the Lennox, on the sidewalk going from Staples to Old Navy for a new flannel shirt for Carl (tomorrow being Fall Picture Day, we definitely thought a flannel shirt and his bib overalls would look pretty snazzy.) I’m pushing Carl in the stroller, Val to my left.

Up ahead of us is a couple, man and woman, older and middle-aged. The woman, in a purple/lavender sweater, is talking, somewhat excitedly, as if she’s thrilled to be alive; the man, quiet, smiling, grey blazer and black pants, making his way up the street. They are walking toward us. They are taking up the sidewalk; the woman either isn’t watching me or doesn’t see the stroller, but all but refuses to yield until the last moment, forces me over to the side and into one of the planting beds lining the walkway. They pass us by, a smile and nod, as she continues yammering on about whatever it is she’s talking about.

We walk on a little further towards the Old Navy, my eyes bugging out, fingers clutching the handle of the stroller in a white-knuckled frenzy. Val, who had to fall into step behind me, catches back up, sees me and breathes, “I didn’t think she was ever going to move over.”

“Who cares?” says I. “That just made my entire night.”

“What are you talking about?” Val asks.

“You didn’t recognize that guy she was talking to?”

“No.”

“First man to orbit the earth.”

All gloating aside (OK, maybe a little gloating), last night’s Vote for Change concert–though lengthy–was worth every precious penny.

We kicked off the night in a serious seat upgrade, thanks to one of my cohorts with friends in high places. Instead of nosebleed row, we scored seats in the 100 level, left stage. We were in the last row right in front of a suite that was home to Washington’s favorite news man, Tim Russert. Apparently Tim likes Bruce, too. We also managed to snag a top-secret, high-security set list, so we knew beforehand who was going on when and singning what.

If you didn’t get to see the show on the Sundance channel, there’s a pretty good review on Entertainment Weekly. My own personal impressions of the show:

Personally, I was completely blown away by both REM and Bruce Springsteen. Never having seen either in concert, both performed their sets with boundless energy that drew the entire crowd (remember, this is a stodgy Washington crowd) to their feet. I especially enjoyed watching Michael Stipe, who really and truly seems like a crazy person on stage. He strutted on in this white suit that made him look ganglier than usual, and dancing around the stage spastically, I thought he looked more like Elastic Man.

I wasn’t wowed by the REM/Springsteen version of “Man on the Moon,” mostly because Springsteen’s style just didn’t seem to fit the song. But Stipe fronting the E street for “Because the Night” was awesome and seemed like they’ve always played together.

The other hugely awesome pairing–Springsteen brought out John Fogarty and they churned out the most intense version of CCR’s “Fortunate Son” I’ve ever heard.

Pearl Jam was a huge disappointment. Our program listed only one song they planned to sing, “Better Man,” which happens to be my all-time favorite PJ number. They blew it off, though, playing four songs I’d never even heard of. Their set was so lame that the entire crowd sat down during their entire performance. Only a duet with Tim Robbins brought folks to their feet, and even that was short-lived.

Robbins, by the way, looked so out of place on the stage. He was like a scarecrow in a pumpkin patch, towering over Vedder and the other Jammers, moving uncomfortably with the music. I didn’t even know he could sing, but apparently he and Vedder go way back, and Robbins even has his own band, Gob Roberts. Think I’ll skip that one.

Other snoozers–Who the heck are Jurassic Five? Never heard of them. Didn’t recognize their songs, either. Was also completely bored by Bonnie Raitt/Keb’ Mo’/Jackson Browne set.

Other highlights from the the night–the Dixie Chicks with James Taylor singing “Sweet Baby James” were phenomenal. DMB was in typical good form, though they were the most anti-social of the bunch, not bringing on any “special guests” to sing with them. I would have liked to have seen their band jam with one of the other big headliners. John Mellencamp was impressive if low-key (and does anyone know why he looks like an old, withered Mark Wahlberg these days??).

And, of course, the finale (which had a very “We are the World” kind of feel to it) was punctuated by Stipe’s stripping off of his Jacket to reveal a Kerry t-shirt. He spent the rest of the show not singing, but running around the stage, tugging on his shirt to show it off to the cheering crowd.

If only all concerts were so fun.

Looks like I get to do a lot of catching up — and following up — this evening, post-flu.

Earlier Item #1: “Karen Ryan”

Via Josh Marshall, the Department of Education apparently forgot what the Department of Health and Human Services got in trouble for earlier this year (P.S. — it’s “news videos” like this, featuring the same damn “reporter”.)

Earlier Item #2: “Sinclair Broadcasting”

Apparently not content with labeling Ted Koppel as a supporter of Iraqi insurgents and terrorists, the broadcasting group (which owns both the ABC and Fox affiliates here in Columbus) is voluntarily airing an hour-long Swift Boat Veterans for Truth commercial (cleverly disquised as a “documentary”) in prime-time. Do you suppose they have to announce “the SwiftVets are responsible for the content of this hour-long polemic” at the end of the show, in the place of “this SwiftVets program was produced before a live studio audience”?

Finally, my dear, loving, sweet sister left me a loud voice mail this evening while she was at the full Concert for Change in DC (Springsteen, REM, Dave Matthews, Pearl Jam, pretty much everyone else I would love to see live in one place).

She was gloating.

Nice to see you, too, world.

Orlas King, the Neutron Man of Ohio State, has died.

Via boingboing:

Parenting Tip #83(a): if your child vomits up the entire contents of the bottle you just gave him five minutes ago, it is probably not a good idea to then sit him down shortly thereafter and attempt to feed him a full dinner of peas, chicken, and bananas.

Parenting Tip #83(b): if your child vomits once on your clothes, and you then feed him peas, chicken, and bananas, you would be foolish to have changed into a white t-shirt. Twice.

I was all set to write up what was sure to be a glowing review of the Pixies show at Vet’s last night. I was SO SURE they would BRING THE ROCK and that everything would be AWESOME.

Well, no.

The Good: the band sounded great — it was a great retrospective of Your Favorite Pixies Tunes, a little something for everyone. Best moments: the Neil Young “Winterlong” cover, Joey Santiago playing guitar with one of Lovering’s drumsticks during “Nimrod”, Kim Deal rocking out on “Gigantic”, Frank screaming his freaking head off in “Dead” (and then the stage lights rotating up into the audience on “Caribou” like FRIGGIN’ EYES while Frank’s still screaming), the unadulterated awesomeness that was “Planet of Sound”… There was plenty for even a johnny-come-lately like myself.

(EDIT: Upon reflection, the drumstick stunt was during “Vamos”, and Frank wasn’t so much screaming on “Dead” as he was on “Tame”. Blame the newbie fan.)

The Bad:

Vet’s.

Seriously. Whoever thought putting this band in a venue staffed by the aging ushers from the Ohio Theater (nary a one under sixty, I’ll wager — great and all, but come on, ushers working what is essentially a crazy speed-metal noise cowboy punk band on a reunion tour?), with row upon row upon row of seats (thus separating the audience, physically, from the band — how do you crowd the stage when there’s a big honkin’ metal thing digging into your leg?), with a concession policy that prevented you from, you know, enjoying your concession and listening to the music at the same time (no beers in the seats, don’tcha know), with a reported CUTOFF of said concessions at 9:00 (!!!), and with what, to my eyes, appeared to be a forced abbreviation of the show at the encore (ninety minutes start to finish, 8:50 to 10:20 p.m., complete with a not-so-subtle “Come see us again in Dayton!” hint from Kim)… well, whoever made that decision, they’re on crack. I’m fairly confident when I report that Veteran’s Memorial Auditorium was responsible for this show being just meh.

(The opening band was the Thrills, and the criticisms of the band I’ve heard elsewhere — “they’re boring” — well, let’s just say I was not Thrilled. There also were some things the Pixies didn’t play — “Levitate Me”, the full-speed version of “Wave of Mutilation”, “Broken Face”, the new “Bam Thwok” — but I still think that’s down to the show being cut short. It just felt so ODD. I don’t know that that’s what happened, it’s just my unfounded speculation, but there was something OFF about the way the whole thing wrapped up.)

I still enjoyed it, though — it was worth seeing the band, even at a lousy venue. For those wondering how cool the show itself looked, xtop‘s got some pictures of the KC show last week.

You heard it here first… The legendary 5-second rule that applies to food droppers everywhere is actually, well, somewhat legit.

Eat away with confidence, my friends.

Via Planet Dan.